Meryl Streep came out of the Kodak Theatre and whispered two words in my ear.

“That bitch!” she said with a laugh, then added: “I love her!”

OK, this was Meryl’s umpteenth loss in a row. She hasn’t won an Oscar since “Sophie’s Choice.” You do realize she was just here last year for “Doubt.” Her most recent run of performances has been staggering, from “The Manchurian Candidate” remake to “The Devil Wears Prada,” “Adaptation,” even the little seen “Rendition.”

She’ll be back, maybe not next year, but in 2012. She makes the entire Oscar process worth it for the rest of us…

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When he was alive, John Gielgud was considered one of the very, very best actors in the world.

So who would play the part of Hobson, the title character’s valet, in a remake of Gielgud’s most famous American film, “Arthur”? Why, Meryl Streep, of course.

The word from inside the remake, which stars Russell Brand as the title character, is that everyone is desperate for Meryl to take the role. As of two weeks ago I knew about this, but insiders said Streep hasn’t even been told of the offer. By now, presumably, she has.

A new script for the updated Arthur is being written by Peter Baynham (he writes for Sacha Baron Cohen) based on the characters invented by the late Steve Gordon. It’s not clear yet who would direct.

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Meryl Streep vs. Sandra Bullock: It’s the only real race in the Oscars besides best picture.

Should we vote for Meryl, who is perfection in “Julie & Julia” as Julia Child? She hasn’t won an Oscar since 1982. She’s the best actress in the world. And she’s won a lot of awards this year.

Or Sandra Bullock: lots of fun, very friendly, very real. This is probably her one shot at an Oscar, playing a Kathie Lee Gifford lookalike. I’ve always had a thing for Sandra Bullock, but her high-water mark was in “While You Were Sleeping.” She’s a B-plus comedienne. She makes a lot of movies of varying quality. Witness “All About Steve,” which she made in the same year as “The Blind Side” and “The Proposal.”

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It’s January 19th. Oscar ballots are due back on the 23rd, on Saturday. That’s just four days.

Will Academy/Oscar voters reject the Golden Globe winners? In the past, the Academy has turned a deaf ear to the selections of the 80 or so mysterious Globe members. Oscar voters also like the human aspect of movie making.

This year, the HFPA went wild for “Avatar” after a last minute viewing in December. They let the technology (and maybe the 3D glasses) obscure the facts that “Avatar” has a terrible screenplay and no real acting per se. It contains some of the worst dialogue in history. But it does have amazing effects. There’s no question that it’s a game changer in sci-fi.

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“Hurt Locker” director Kathryn Bigelow beat her ex-husband last night.

Bigelow won best director and best picture for “The Hurt Locker” at the Critics’ Choice Awards, thus trouncing her ex-husband James Cameron and his computer-generated “Avatar.”

In what is the most telling awards show pre-Academy Awards, the Critics’ Choice Awards on VH1 often accurately predicts the Oscar. Last night at the Hollywood Palladium, the well-produced two-hour telecast was the kick-off for awards season.

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The National Board of Review tried like crazy to get the stars to their annual gala Tuesday night. To do it, they gave Clint Eastwood his annual award and tossed Meryl Streep a bone with a “Best Ensemble” prize for “It’s Complicated.” They could have given her Best Actress for “Julie & Julia.” But instead that went to Carey Mulligan for “An Education.”

Well, the NBR’s old tricks failed them. Eastwood, maybe wising up to the yucky nature of this group, sent a video message and skipped the proceedings. Meryl backed out at the last minute. With the big guns gone, the NBR was left with George Clooney and company for “Up in the Air.”

Otherwise, the NBR was stuck with a shortage of star power. On the Wire Image website, you can tell what was going on, too: they resorted to including pictures of NBR president Annie Schulhof, who’s desperate to be a celebrity. Well, she got her wish.

According to New York Magazine’s report, the evening was more or less a roast of George Clooney, but not as good as the New York Film Critics Circle awards the night before. The Times report indicated a lackluster response to the whole proceeding. They chose to interview J.J. Abrams but didn’t ask him anything about “Lost.” He’s right, though, when he says that “Star Trek” won’t be a Best Picture nominee.

Maybe this is the beginning of the end for the NBR. Their only real usefulness in the past was being first with awards that the studios could advertise for the holidays. But since the other awards shows have jumped in and are now earlier with their announcements, and more accurate, NBR may finally be on the ropes.

It was the usual shenanigans last night at the 75th annual New York Film Critics Circle dinner. Untelevised, and loose, the NYFCC pretty much sucked the air out of tonight’s National Board of Review gala by honoring George Clooney and Meryl Streep, the putative Oscar winners this season.

Clooney, for his part, stole the show. First he had to give an award to director Wes Anderson for “Fantastic Mr. Fox.” He kind of wandered onto the stage at Crimson, a large restaurant nightclub on Broadway and 21st St., and gave a rambling little speech due to the solid part of dinner being delivered way later than the liquid part. He said, “I’m like Mariah Carey, f’d-up right now,” which got a laugh considering Mariah’s similar speech last week in Palm Springs.

But Clooney was far from incoherent as he poked fun at Anderson’s typically laconic style. “Wes said he’d give the best speech in history,” Clooney announced, even better than Meryl Streep, then invoked an f -bomb to punctuate it. “Who says that to Meryl Streep?” Clooney wondered. Anderson responded by making understated remarks.

Later, when Christine Lahti was introducing Clooney for his own Best Actor award (in “Fox” and “Up in the Air“) she said she found over 11, 800,000 million entries. “Have you ever Googled yourself, George?” Lahti asked from the podium. “I Google myself every afternoon,” the actor shouted back. He came to the event with his gorgeous Italian girlfriend, Elisabetta Canalis, and mingled with everyone, not just Streep.

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The Best Actress category has gotten very interesting suddenly.

While Meryl Streep remains the odds-on favorite for her work in “Julie & Julia,” there’s a new player in the game: Sandra Bullock.

Bullock is pulling a lot of of weight and good vibes for her role in the big studio formula hit, “The Blind Side.” Sandy has a Golden Globe nomination and a few others under her belt for her portrayal of a real life Memphis rich gal who takes an abandoned high school football player into her home. It’s a true story, but one that is hard to swallow if you give “The Blind Side” more than a few minutes of thought.

Still, Sandra Bullock is hard working and incredibly likable. And even though her character, Lee Anne Tuohy, resembles Kathie Lee Gifford down to her high heels, Bullock makes her a success. It’s not the actress’s first real acting knockout. She was excellent in both “Crash” and “Infamous,” showing the serious side of her acting chops.

But as one insider told me recently, “Sandy will be happy just to be nominated.” She’ll be a great addition to the Oscars.

However, this is Meryl Streep’s year. She made three hit films — “Julie and Julia,” “It’s Complicated,” and “Fantastic Mr. Fox.” In each, she is towering. And despite the idea that ‘Meryl always wins,’ La Streep has not taken home an Oscar in 27 years. It was for “Sophie’s Choice.” Sure, she’s been nominated a lot — over and over — but she’s also had to endure watching others swan past her.

Don’t get the impression she’s above winning. Not at all. When someone mentioned the Oscar recently, Streep supposedly responded, “From your lips to God’s ear.” I think God and the Academy are listening. Bullock aside, not to mention Carey Mulligan, Gabby Sidibe, and Marion Cotillard, 2010 is the year of Streep. You can bet on it!

This commences Awards Week. It’s sort of the first round leading up to the Oscars, with the Broadcast Critics Association handing out the Critics Choice Awards on Friday (VH1, 8pm). And then on Sunday, the Hollywood Foreign Press passes out the Golden Globes (NBC, 8pm).

During the week, there are two significant awards to be addressed in New York. The more realistic one is from the New York Film Critics Circle. Tonight, they honor “The Hurt Locker,” director Kathryn Bigelow, Meryl Streep, George Clooney, Christoph Waltz and Mo’Nique. The latter, who still doesn’t get it, won’t attend. “Precious” director Lee Daniels will accept for her. Even so, the New York Film Critics are simply that, the main reviewers in the most important city. The public doesn’t attend, and there are no membership fees.

Then on Tuesday night the National Board of Review tosses a gala. For $600, you can buy a ticket to this thing. The NBR will give an award or a citation to just about every movie that come out this year with the exception of “Precious.” (They tossed Gabby Sidibe “Breakthough Performance” as a bone but otherwise ignored it.) They are giving Clint Eastwood his annual award because his archivist, Jeanine Basinger, is on their board. Eastwood gets Best Director for “Invictus“ even though even the DGA didn’t include him this year, and “Invictus” has turned out to be a disappointment. That doesn’t stop the NBR!

Meryl Streep didn’t get Best Actress — they gave it to Carey Mulligan of “An Education” — but Meryl will be there because her movie, “It’s Complicated,” was given Best Ensemble. “Up” will get Best Animated Feature, so Disney will buy a table. But where does that leave Fox Searchlight’s “Fantastic Mr. Fox“? Fox Searchlight has no other nominees, which means “no table” to the NBR. So they’re giving Wes Anderson “Special Achievement in Filmmaking.” What is the special achievement? Isn’t “Mr. Fox” just another animated film? But doesn’t it also star — wait for it — George Clooney and Meryl Streep? And won’t they be there anyway? Eureka!

Meryl Streep is just as endearing and funny in real life as she is on stage. It’s hard to believe, but it’s true.

Readers of this column may recall a recent entry in which La Streep took two sips of a Tanqueray martini at a premiere, and then backed off.

When I ran into her last night at the Museum of Modern Art, just following the screening of “It’s Complicated,” she’d had a whole martini.

“I had to,” she laughed, “to get through this.” She is not crazy about big premieres, but there she was, meeting and greeting her fans for the third time this month. Nevertheless, Meryl is a sport. She even sat through the last half hour of the movie — something she never does.”It’s hard to be Queen,” someone said to Streep as she entered the party. Meryl shot back, “I wouldn’t want her problems, believe me!”

(Folks, she’s going to get the Academy Award for “Julie & Julia.” I’m just sayin’.)

Co-star Alec Baldwin, on the other hand, did not see the movie. He went off to have dinner with sometime girlfriend Nicole Seidel. At the very swanky MoMA party — which featured a tremendous recreated dessert bakery just like the one Meryl’s character owns in the movie — Baldwin was sweating so hard perspiration ran down his face. He kept trying to mop it up with a handkerchief.

Around the MoMA lobby, there were plenty of celebs eating the delicious food and talking about the fantasy life presented in “It’s Complicated.” Among them: Universal chief Ron Meyer and NBC’s Jeff Zucker, who may be bonding now that the company has been sold. Also, Tina Fey — sans glasses — who promised me she’s coming up with more ways to zetz the NBC folks on “30 Rock.”  Plus there was the movie’s costar John Krasinski (who’s very good in this movie) and fiancee Emily Blunt (about to oppen in “Young Victoria“), Steve Martin (and doppelganger pal art dealer Larry Gagosian), Rita Wilson, Alexandra Wentworth, Oliver Stone, Marisa Hargitay and Peter Hermann, Bob and Lynne Balaban, Barry and Diana Levinson, Bob Dishy and Judy Graubart.